Hi! My name is Jen and my late husband’s name is Bill. I was widowed at forty one. Some people say to me that my entire life changed in 24 hours. They are wrong…my entire life changed in one second. I remember that exact second. I went from being so happy at a party with my husband and in one second I was forever changed when he collapsed next to me. In that second, my whole world changed and I never heard his voice again.
I am here to share my story. I had a great love, one many people will never had. I also experienced a tragic loss. It is that love that lives within me that keeps me going each day. In reading my story and my thoughts, I hope that I am able to help at least one widow realize they are not alone. I also hope that I can help people who still have their love to appreciated them and live more in the moment. So many times, I feel so alone. If you are reading this, please know, you are not alone. I am here with you.
One of my greatest grief struggles in life is expressing to others what I need. The people walking alongside me in this journey have the best of intentions. of them have not lost a spouse and you will never understand what it is like unless you have lost the person that you had expected to spend the rest of your life with. You don’t have to understand, but you can sit with them in the moment. You cannot fix it (and trust me, we know you can’t), but you can listen.
I am not the same person I was when my husband was alive. Apparently, I have more to learn. For now I know when my time comes, I will be so grateful for the short 5 years and 10 months that I got to spend with Bill, for I had someone to lose. I will cherish the incredible friendships that I have made and nurtured. I hope that I can also look back and know that I helped others that are grieving in a similar way as me by sharing my story and being there to support you!
I have such clarity now as to what is important in life. When Bill was here, our priorities were somewhat askew. At forty one, my husband and I were planning for a future that we had no idea did not exist. Making sure we were paying off our credit card debt, saving for our future and planning a family. Today, I can say without hesitation that I would give you my job, I would give you the keys to my house, I would give you access to my bank account and I would give you everything I own, if you could bring my husband back. More time isn’t an option. So appreciate each second and live in the moment. How many times I heard it and thought I had the answers…sadly I did not.
Thank you for reading and I am so happy to be able to share my story with you.